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so...
i've realized in the past couple years sometimes i see the sunrise and i'm so happy and other times i'm so sad.
i love happy sunrises.
i want/need more of them in my life.
end of story.
-me
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| Subject: | + |
| Time: | 7:40 pm. |
| Mood: |  happy. | | Music: | wedding crashers. |
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hello
so lastnight i went to bed happy and i slept :). i hope it continues... we'll see. maybe i figured out the secret... MAYBE
-me
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Monday, February 2nd, 2009
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| Subject: | change? |
| Time: | 5:44 am. |
| Mood: |  sleepy. | | Music: | lisa lampanelli's comedy show. |
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so...
maybe i will change today? not me mayb the way i look at a situation? idk...
22 in 2 days
-me
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Sunday, January 25th, 2009
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good morning
i just got home about a half hour ago.
more tomorrow.... (well today....)
-me
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Thursday, January 22nd, 2009
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so...
pats journal entry has made me want to update my journal. i dont feel like talking tho. shit ain't good, shit ain't bad. shit is what it is and i'm sick of it bc i want it to be good shit. soon? i hope so. bc 2009 what i thought was going to be a good year has sucked thus far.
-me
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Tuesday, January 20th, 2009
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hello...
just wanted to say modest mouse's song float on is the best.
gnite.
-me
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Thursday, December 25th, 2008
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hello...
:)
-me
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Thursday, October 30th, 2008
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hey
so this afternoon at school i was searching for a parking spot, there were spots open but i wanted to be close bc it was rainy and shitty out. so i almost stole this spot by some girl and it would of been a fair steal too. but i didn't and guess what... a second later a waaaay better spot. point: when you do good, good happens to you.
so tonight i'm driving home, and i see a shooting star right in front of me, so i thought i was all lucky right... some minutes later a black cat runs across the street in front of my car. seriously. point: theres good and bad.
i decided seriously: go mccain! and i'm all for capitalism! woo!
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Tuesday, October 28th, 2008
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| Time: | 11:40 pm. |
| Mood: |  aggravated. | | Music: | the rescues - my heart with you. |
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hello!
so, so much stuff has been going on. i know i know i'm lazy and i procrastinate and then it's the next day. i need to update. i will because i want to remember all this shit. maybe things are changing for me? time will tell. just like time heals all wounds. idk.
-me
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Wednesday, October 15th, 2008
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hello...
so i was watching chelsea lately and she had leanne womack on her show and they talked about this song called "20 years and 2 husbands ago". so i was like oh cool name and she talked about it and i was like omg... 21 years of my life have passed, and so much has happened, SO MUCH! lol just everything. in 20 years from now i'll be 41 omg! what will my life be like. i want to write about the first 20 years, but not now bc it just ended i have to be able to reflect a little bit. well maybe i could do a little now lol little later on in life, as life goes on, idk?
crazy. times goes quick? maybe?
i think the older u get the quicker it goes, i've actually heard that.
-me
and i still need to give a real update
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Tuesday, October 14th, 2008
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hello
so while driving tonight...
i realized/decided/noticed that i cherish my memories.
more to come, i've been wanting to update but i've been busy. but i do want to share what my new itouch's background is because i think it's pretty...
well it used to be this...
and now its...
gnite.
oh and ps.. these goldfish are bangin and macaroni with melted butter with parmesan cheese is THE shit!
oh yea and way to go gmen, way to go.
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Sunday, September 28th, 2008
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ugh.
i woke up some odd hours ago with an anxiety attack sorta, idk it was my nerves. brushed it off and went right back to sleep. i texted him just before bc i need the few dollars that he owes me. i do want to see him but i also wanted it before when him and i were chill. i dont want to do more for that kid than i've already done. i don't wanna go however long with out talking to him, i want to be with him. i need to realize it's never going to happen. i just want it soooo bad! :( we'll see. i can do this. i can so do this. i just don't want to do this. the feeling of disappointment is too hard, too heavy, too sad. i'm worth more than this, i deserve more than this. i hate him, i have to do this now, i have to get over him. stupid guys, with no feelings, no emotions, fuck him for doing this to me, for making me feel like i do.
-me
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Saturday, September 6th, 2008
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| Time: | 7:26 pm. |
| Mood: |  relaxed. | | Music: | tv - there's something about mary. |
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hello
so last time i updated i was all sad and emo and i was like that for like the whole week and i talked to ray and i ended up getting all emo in front of him and we talked and everything got better. so the past few weeks have been good...
school started last week, only have to classes: intro to geology, and stat 2 (reasoning: stat is hard and science has a lab so its 3 days a week) i'm glad i took that summer class, much less work, and i've done practically all my hw and i even corrected the teacher in stat and i understand what i'm doing! (well the first week anyway.... lol). so i got good feelings about that. also, i got outta class early thursday and went to admissions to get my radio class from brookdale transfered, hopefully that works out. correction: it will work out, hopefully i don't have to argue about it. a spoke to a woman a few months ago that said yes it will transfer in, i just have to change my major. so i went thursday and the woman i spoke to didn't know what she was doing (almost literally said that sentence...) so she has to get it approved by the chairman or some shit, so we'll see....
boyfriend wise.... idk but it's official (i think?) we're talking :) which just makes me smile. and i know he cares about me (haha well this week anyway) so i'm just happy. it's progress. AND HE GOT A TRUCK YESTERDAY! he was sooo excited/happy and i was excited/happy for him. it was all good. very happy.
labor day: all good, hung with the fam bc we had a bbq the day before. fun fun! and on actual labor day: me and crystal went to sandy hook, met up with my aunt and cousin for a lil before they left. after we left the beach we picked up food and alcohol for the party and i went home got ready and went back out to go to crystal and ray's for their small party and saw trisha, bk, and heather too. chilled for a lil, then it was fire work time and my aunt had called me a few minutes before to see if i was going to meet up with them there (and i felt bad bc i really didn't get to say goodbye to anyone bc i was rushing to leave to go to the party) so i powered walked my little behind to where they were and hung out for a lil bit (saw michele's family on the way) then got myself a pretzel, and met up with michele and mike at the park. THEN (lol) stopped schramm, mackie, medici, and chrisk, WHILE talking on the phone to ray bc he was going to meet up with us too. so we all watched the fire works together. went back to the party played some vodka pong (well i played just didn't drink) and i carried my team (haha me and ray against crystal and greg) to our victory! ate, chilled, and was jolly hahaha :)
so thats what's new up til now. we went to my cousin's aunt kathy's 50th bday party today and i'm getting kinda hungry, even tho i ate there. OH! and jessica is having a baby due april! so exciting.
keep it fresh jigga! ha
-me
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Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008
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hi
i need to update
but i am just so lazy - the days are flying by and the update i still need to update you about was already 2 weeks ago (me thinks)
ugh my heart today thats all i wanna say.
but it really isn't that bad - you think it's doing good but idk
i need a hug lol
hopefully a real update later
-me
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gmorning/gnite
bp at 5 whatever in the morning just before = awesome. i will remember this night for at least awhile....
-me
oh and got to watch the sopranos with him whooop
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hello/good morning.
it's 413a on wednesday night/thursday morning and i felt like updating. not a real update (which will be coming soon bc it's well over due)just a mini update.
i had a good time tonight :) and south plainfield's finest was out and about as well.
gnite/morning ha
(i need sleep)
-me
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hello
so i know i said i would post (pretty much for you pat, bc idk who else reads this shit) but i've been so consumed with watching lost that it's been taking up all my free time bc i'm obssessed. its sooo good... i started from the beginning and i will end at the season 4 finale, but what am i gonna do til september. (same delema i had with greys...) start watching weeds :). i love tv
but seriously - a post soon.
-me
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hello
there is a post coming soon!
i want to write it now (well i wanted to write it yesterday) but i've been soo busy with summer class and work and going out.
but my fingers will type like lightning is coming out of them.... i got alot to say, to get off my chest.
-me
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Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
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hello
i really want to be a writer, i try but i just don't go anywhere with my idea/words. like my imagination is good but idk. i was told today that in order to be a better writer you need to read more books. uggggh. i want to write a story about my heartbreaks. and an autobiography. and just a random story that people will read and be like oh that is such a good book.
i need to stop thinking.
-me
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Thursday, April 24th, 2008
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| Time: | 2:48 pm. |
| Music: | the temptations - just my imagination. |
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hello
so it's almost gone i think, but then again - who knows....
i decided that thats how i want to start off my book (the paragraph in my last entry)... well one of my books that i want to write lol
it's been a busy week that is going to continue to be busy for the rest of the week...
it's a good thing tho
it's also the end of the semester in 2 weeks so another reason for the business
....more on the business later i just felt like updating for a second
-me
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beanerweiner's journal
confused.
giggly.
blah.
annoyed.
restless.
accomplished.
bored.